


hold on (don't let go)

by softiesharpie



Series: Season 5 Inspired Fics [9]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Developing Friendships, Established Relationship, F/F, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Other, set after 5x09
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:41:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23914744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softiesharpie/pseuds/softiesharpie
Summary: "I just... I-I just want you to be okay." Ava's voice shook. "I can't do this without you. The team needs you... I need you. And I know it sounds selfish, but I can't lose you."OrAva is worried about Sara's condition, luckily Zari's there to comfort her. Soft Avalance with Zava friendship.
Relationships: Ava Sharpe & Zari Tomaz | Zari Tarazi, Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe
Series: Season 5 Inspired Fics [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1631806
Comments: 7
Kudos: 119





	hold on (don't let go)

**Author's Note:**

> I first want to say that 5x09 of Legends was AMAZING. I loved it so much. I wrote this fic last night after the episode because I love Avalance and Zava's friendship. Enjoy!
> 
> The title is from 'You're Gonna Be Ok' by Bright Ones.
> 
> Please do not repost my stories anywhere.

"Hi, my love."

Ava took Sara's hand as she sat down on the hospital bed next to her.

Sara had been unconscious for what seemed like ages and Ava was very worried about her.

She didn't know what was going on with her.

Charlie said that Sara had been acting a little off, but that could mean a lot of things.

Ava didn't know what was happening, but she assumed that Sara was unconscious due to her encounter with Atropos during their last mission.

"Today was... a lot." She chuckled.

"I tried to be interim Captain and that... well... that was fine until I was tricked into basically getting trapped in a room with Gary and Mick. We were tied up in Hell... basically hopeless. So much for a quick mission, huh?" She bit her lip, glancing over to the mug on the far table.

Gary had made her herbal tea, insisting that it would help her relax. But she was too on edge to drink it, her stomach in knots.

She looked back down at Sara and sighed. "You know, I told Astra about the c-word thing." She said before shaking her head. "It seemed like a good idea at the time - telling her that Rip fabricated all of my memories and everything. But now it just... I don't know."

She tightened her grip on Sara's hand as her heart beat slightly quickened. She was slowly coming to terms with being a clone, but it wasn't easy. She still had bad days sometimes.

"I-I just hate thinking about it. It's all I've thought about since I told her." She admitted. "It's been awhile since I've felt this bad about it. I'm normally... well, you know I'm usually fine talking about it. But today it really bothered me. I still don't know why."

She watched Sara's face closely, looking for any indication that the blonde could hear her.

"I know I'm probably not making any sense right now... I'm rambling. Like always." She chuckled lightly, tears filling her eyes.

"I just... I-I just want you to be okay." Her voice shook. "I can't do this without you. The team needs you... I need you. And I know it sounds selfish, but I can't lose you."

She felt almost frustrated with herself.

Sara was in the medbay, unconscious, and might never wake up, and Ava was feeling insecure about something she'd found out about herself over two years ago. Ava should be over this, but she wasn't.

_Healing isn't linear, remember? It's okay to have bad days_ , she tried to remind herself. That was something she'd told Sara so many times and she believed it for her, but it was harder to believe it for herself. 

When Sara stayed completely, almost eerily still, Ava sighed and frowned. She didn't know what to do.

A knock on the door snapped her out of her thoughts and she looked over, seeing Zari in the doorway.

"Oh, hey, Z." She sniffed and put on a smile. "What's up?"

Zari looked at her for a moment, frowning. "She'll be okay, you know." She said, walking over to Ava. She could see how distraught her friend was and wanted to help her feel better.

"From what I can tell, she's a badass. And she's probably been through worse than this." She continued, sitting on the chair next to the bed.

"She has." Ava agreed. "But... b-but this is different. We don't _know_ what's going on with her. She just... collapsed. Out of nowhere." She shook her head and let out a shaky breath.

"We don't even know if she'll wake up. What if she never wakes up?" She looked up at Zari with tearful eyes.

"She will." Zari assured her. "And, even if she doesn't... can't we just go back in time and stop her from getting hurt in the first place."

Ava wanted to shake her head and say, _that would be against protocol to travel back to a time we've already been to_. That would be the responsible thing to say.

But she didn't know if she'd be able to just move on time traveling without Sara. She knew that the team would be willing to risk time to save Sara, and, to be honest, Ava would be too.

Ava frowned. "I know, it's..." she trailed off, frowning as she looked away. "I'm sorry. You're going through a lot right now with... with B. I shouldn't be burdening you with my problems." She said.

Zari frowned too. "No, please. I'm not... I know we'll save B. I'm not worried about that." She reached out to take Ava's free hand. "And you're not burdening me. I want to help." She smiled kindly.

Ava looked hesitant for a moment before she nodded and sniffed, letting her tears fall. "I'm just... feeling a lot right now. And I'm not good with emotions, so it's all just v-very overwhelming." She admitted and glanced up at Zari.

"I'm basically not meant to have emotions. I was literally programmed to not have any, but I do. And sometimes they're just... hard to deal with, you know?"

Zari blinked before furrowing her brows. "Wait, excuse me, did you just say you were... _programmed_? Like, a robot or something?" She asked, confused.

Ava winced. "No. It's- it's a long story, but basically I'm from almost 200 years in the future. I was taken from there and fake memories were programmed into my head so I wouldn't know I didn't belong." She tried her best to explain it in a way where she wouldn't have to say 'clone'. She didn't know she if could handle saying that word right now.

Zari was more confused, but decided to stay quiet and let Ava explain more.

Ava took this as a sign to continue. She took in a deep breath, preparing herself for what she was about to say next.

"It took me awhile to come to terms with it... I had so many days where I felt insignificant, like if I died or- or disappeared, it wouldn't matter. I would just be replaced and life would go on as if nothing had happened. I questioned my existence everyday. I was always overthinking it and feeling anxious all the time. It was awful."

Zari frowned. She didn't know that Ava had gone through all of that.

From the outside, Ava seemed perfect to Zari. She always seemed like she had everything under control and didn't seem to have any insecurities.

"Now I've... I've been working on accepting it. It took awhile, but it doesn't bother me as much as it used to. It just sucks that I still have days like today where it all hits me at once and some old feelings about it start to resurface."

Ava sniffed, looking back down at Sara. "Normally Sara's here to, you know, help me get out of this funk. But... obviously, circumstances have changed." She chuckled dryly.

She sat quietly for a moment, lost in her thoughts, before she abruptly stood up.

Zari frowned at sudden action.

"I-I need... to do something. To occupy my mind so I don't just wallow in my self loathing." Ava said. She knew that sometimes she could spiral when she felt like this and didn't want that to happen this time.

Zari nodded. "Okay, I can help." She said, starting to smile. "Come with me." She stood up and held out her hand for Ava.

Ava took it without hesitation and allowed herself to be dragged out of the medbay and into the living room.

"Let's watch a movie. I'll even let you pick it as long as it's not a cheesy rom-com." Zari winced at the thought as she sat down on the couch and crossed her legs.

"Hm." Ava grabbed the remote. "Of all people, I would've thought you'd be into rom-coms." She said and sat down next to her.

Zari scoffed. "Please. They're so unrealistic. Sci-fi is so much better."

Ava looked at her in surprise. "Wow. I feel the exact same way." She said, picking a movie before grabbing a blanket. She draped it over them and sighed, slowly relaxing.

"I'm not just some mindless celebrity, you know." Zari mumbled after several minutes of staying silent.

Ava looked at her. "Sorry, what?" She didn't quite hear what she'd said.

"Nothing. Never mind." Zari shook her head.

Ava looked at her curiously for a moment before she shrugged and returned her attention to the movie.

As time went by, Zari slowly scooted closer to Ava so she could rest her head on her shoulder to relax. She, too, had a lot on her mind that she didn't want to think about.

She felt Ava's arm wrap around her shoulders in a subconscious act, the blonde's eyes still on the movie.

Zari smiled at the action, relaxing a bit more in the embrace.

She was surprised by how much she and Ava had in common. From the outside, they seemed to be complete opposites. But they could both relate to questioning one's identity and place in the world.

Zari realized just then how lucky she was to have met Ava and the Legends. She'd never felt this comfortable and content anywhere, didn't even think it was possible to feel this at home anywhere.

"Hey, Zari?" Ava's voice brought the brunette out of her thoughts.

She turned her head slightly to look at her. "Yeah?" She quietly asked.

"Thank you." Ava simply said.

Zari smiled and shook her head. "There's no need to thank me... this is what friends are for, right?" She softly said.

Ava smiled back, "yeah. Friends." She rested her cheek lightly against Zari's head and focused back on the movie.

Ava Sharpe and Zari Tarazi. Friends. Ava loved the sound of that.

**Author's Note:**

> So, what did you think? I really love Ava and Zari's friendship, so I enjoyed writing this fic. Comment your thoughts? :)
> 
> Also, if you want to see me scream about Avalance, here's my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/softiesharpie) :)


End file.
